|::| Sunday, July 07, 2002
- |::| What Do You Call 1000 Lawyers Chained Together At The Bottom Of The Ocean? 2:27:05 PM
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Little story: Once when I was in my early 20s -- I think it was right after I'd dropped out of college -- my mother said to me sadly, "You were always so good at arguments. I always had such hopes that you might become a lawyer."
Flabbergasted, I replied: "But mom, you hate lawyers!"
It took her a moment to respond. "Yes," she finally said, "but I hoped that you'd be an exception."
If I lived in the Denver area, and I had legal problems, I'd definitely consider hiring these guys. Too bad they don't do criminal... AHEM.
From their homepage:
Powers Phillips, P.C., is a small law firm located in downtown Denver, Colorado within convenient walking distance of over fifty bars and a couple of doughnut shops. Powers Phillips also maintains a small satellite office-in-exile on the cow-covered hillsides near Carbondale, Colorado, where it puts out to pasture some of its aging attorneys.
And who said "honest lawyer" was a contradiction in terms? (BTW, consider signing up for their "Bitches From Hell Reporter" newsletter...)
The firm is composed of lawyers from the two major strains of the legal profession, those who litigate and those who wouldn't be caught dead in a courtroom.
Litigation lawyers are the type who will lie, cheat and steal to win a case and who can't complete a sentence without the words "I object" or "I demand another extension on that filing deadline." Many people believe that litigation lawyers are the reason all lawyers are held in such low esteem by the public. Powers Phillips, P.C. is pleased to report that only four of its lawyers, Trish Bangert, Tom McMahon, Tamara Vincelette, and JoAnne Zboyan are litigation lawyers, and only one of them is a man.
Lawyers who won't be caught dead in a courtroom are often referred to in the vernacular as "loophole lawyers," underhanded wimps who use their command of legal gobbledygook to scam money from the unsuspecting, usually widows and orphans. Many people believe that such "loophole lawyers" are the reason all lawyers are held in such low esteem by the public. Powers Phillips, P.C. is pleased to report that only four of its lawyers, Myra Lansky, Kathy Powers, Mary Phillips, and Jay Powers, are such "loophole lawyers" and one of them, Jay Powers, hardly does anything at all anyway so he doesn't really count.